What’s happened
In the Internet got infected video from the stream in which blogger Eldar Dzharakhov says that he had more than 2,000 women: “After that I stopped counting, the drinking there was severe… I even have a notebook somewhere where I wrote down the names.”
Later, Dzharakhov said in his Telegram channel that it was a joke. But the hype train could no longer be stopped. People wrote jokes, performed complex mathematical calculations (it turned out about 0.5 girls a day, if you’re interested), the blogger was accused of small dick energy.
But let’s leave Dzharakhov alone and look at the situation more comprehensively. Because it doesn’t matter whether he was joking or not, besides him there are people who really have a large number of sexual partners and scrupulously keep a list of them. Is everything okay here and could this become a problem?
What is the normal number of sexual partners?
The short and simple answer is any. But there are nuances.
People who are outraged by the numerous relationships of others usually give two arguments. The first lies in the plane of health, the second – morality.
Regarding health, there is research, which show some association between having more partners and cancer risk. Although with men everything is not so clear: the risk of prostate cancer, for example, Maybe increase or decrease depending on the gender of the partners. At the same time, scientists themselves note that there is such an observation, but they are in no hurry to build cause-and-effect relationships, since, in addition to the number of sexual partners, many other factors are involved in the matter.
In general, the risk of encountering some kind of disease while having sex arises from the possibility of catching it from a partner. Purely statistically, it turns out that the more there are, the higher the likelihood that something will be discovered in the new “bed mate”. However, from unwanted consequences it is quite good protect condoms. If you do not neglect them and use them literally as experts advise, in particular, avoid contact of mucous membranes without a condom, even when there is no risk of becoming pregnant, then there is not much difference in how many partners there were.
Of course, there is always the possibility that the condom will break. But the probability of picking up something from a single partner is non-zero. Abstinence is what insures one hundred percent.
The moral aspect is more complicated. On the one hand, if all partners participated in the process voluntarily, expressed active consent – in general, had sex willingly and with pleasure, then what difference does it make? People have different libidos, some people want to indulge in bed pleasures often, but permanent relationships may not work out for various reasons. So to the question “How many partners did you have before me?” you can answer with a quote from Bogdan Lisevsky and go along with the lines from the song: “Big cities, empty trains.” Or, in other words without reference, do not attach much importance to other people’s concerns.
At the same time, it is necessary to be aware of the consequences, because it is not possible to completely discount the attitude of society. In the future, this may become a barrier to interacting with someone who is less open-minded. And these, apparently, are the majority. People mostly prefer someone with average sexual experience, and those who have had many connections are not considered for long-term relationships.
That is, the number of sexual partners cannot be right or wrong. Whatever the person chooses is normal. Only then should he clearly understand what risks he faces and, if possible, minimize them.
Is it normal to brag about the number of sexual partners?
Here it is worth starting with the fact that there are reasons why a large or, conversely, small number of partners can be a reason for pride. Obviously, we are talking not only and not so much about sex, but about what status this or that information gives a person.
And here’s a funny one statistical fact: women more often underestimate the number of partners, and men overestimate. That is, the joke from “American Pie” that the number the girl calls must be multiplied by three, and the number the guy calls must be divided by three, is not far from the truth.
The reason is double standards. Women are still denied the right to sexuality. Whereas for men, an impressive number of partners is considered an advantage, although mainly in the male crowd. Most women, as we remember, still prefer more reserved ones for long-term relationships.
It turns out that by boasting about the number of partners, a person is trying to find approval and increase his status in society. It is not necessary to have a lot of sex, you just need to speak confidently. On the one hand, it seems like a slippery topic, on the other hand, people lie in the same way about earnings, travel, and level of happiness. That is, bragging about the number of partners is not an out of the ordinary situation, but simply part of a conditional feed on a social network.
Of course, if, while boasting, a person does not name individuals, nothing terrible happens. But the lists of names look scary. Firstly, it is unsafe for those who agreed to sex. Secondly, this suggests what is so special that needs to be compensated for, that it is necessary to keep records of partners. It seems that the issue here is some unprocessed trauma.
Does the number of partners affect the quality of sex?
One of the reasons for boasting about a large number of partners is the illusion that a super-experienced person knows exactly what to do in bed. But this is a debatable issue. First, you need to understand: did a person have many partners because he himself decided so, or because no one agreed to sleep with him a second time?
Quantity itself does not provide any guarantees and, in fact, does not mean absolutely anything. Much more important is how a person behaved during each sex, how much he listened to his partner’s wishes, and so on. If everything was limited to the selfish satisfaction of one’s own desires with the help of someone, then brilliant knowledge simply had nowhere to come from. But if a person knows how to communicate, then a large number of partners may well provide invaluable experience. However, it’s also small, because people are all different. You can know, for example, a dozen blowjob techniques, but with a specific partner all this will not be useful, because he only likes one option.
Besides, sex isn’t just about mechanics. For example, physiologist Vyacheslav Dubynin compares one-time sex with masturbation. With it, there is no such depth of psychological experiences and such hormonal support that longer relationships give.
So, even if a person has had one partner, even a thousand or one, there are no guarantees. It’s still a lottery – and not a win-win one.