What is this burnt toast theory?
This is a new trend that dials popularity on TikTok. Essentially, it is one way of reframing failures and believing that they can actually lead to something better or clear the way for something greater, even if they make us feel frustrated and disappointed.
The premise of the theory is the idea that burnt toast can be looked at from different points of view: as a colossal problem that will ruin first our day and then our whole life, or as an event that protected us from some danger and allowed us to find ourselves in the right time in the right place.
Imagine that you didn’t get your dream job and were very upset, and a couple of months later the company you applied for went bankrupt. Or you were unable to build a relationship with your “ideal partner”, and then you found out that he was a marriage swindler. All of these are manifestations of the burnt toast theory.
It is important to note that this strategy is not suitable for dealing with complex psychological problems or serious trauma. But it can help us not to despair in difficult times when we are going through, for example, a breakup or job loss.
Why is the burnt toast theory useful?
Its main idea is that at some point in life we all face failure. And although they themselves are beyond our control, we can control how we react to them. Here’s how the burnt toast theory can help with this.
She teaches self-compassion
If your toast burns, you’ll blame yourself rather than the toaster or the bread. But you’re smarter than a toaster, and even geniuses have probably burned a breakfast or two in their lives. Feeling sorry for yourself, immersing yourself in your suffering, and then letting it go can be useful, and sometimes even pleasant. At the same time, it is important to remember that you are not the only person for whom something went wrong, and all people tend to get upset and disappointed.
The burnt toast theory has resonated with TikTok users because many people really feel like they’re the only ones who feel disproportionately angry over little things. But the key to self-compassion is to understand that your emotions are completely natural, and most people in your position would likely be going through the same thing.
Try it 🤗
It promotes awareness
When faced with minor inconveniences or setbacks, many people tend to exaggerate problems and make mountains out of molehills. Of course, sometimes bad luck in life reaches incredible proportions. For example, you could get stuck in traffic and be late for a critical work meeting, resulting in your dismissal. But this rarely happens.
The burnt toast theory helps you to be mindful and see the real situation, and not its imaginary frightening version.
It allows you to think clearly
Imagine that your toast wasn’t just burnt – it was the last piece of bread in the house. You get upset, but suddenly you remember that there is a large package of yogurt in the refrigerator, which is about to expire. You eat it and realize that it was a more filling breakfast.
Of course, we would like to recognize all the possibilities ourselves and make better decisions. But sometimes we just need an external stimulus that will confront us with a fact and lead us to valuable thoughts.
She helps you move forward
Sometimes the situation is resolved in such a way that we are left with more questions than answers. We want to know exactly why we were abandoned or why we didn’t get our dream job. Moreover, we believe that this knowledge will help us move forward. However, searching for answers to such questions can leave us stuck in the past. Analyzing it, of course, is useful, but only if we “visit” it from time to time, and do not live in it constantly.
Moving forward will be a little easier if you believe that when you don’t get a promotion or are ignored by someone you like, it frees up space in your life for something bigger and better. The truth is that you may never get the answers you need, so it’s healthier to move on rather than look for clues in the elusive past. This means it’s worth thinking about what you can do in the future to take your career to a new level or improve your personal life and not repeat mistakes.
Other interesting theories 🧐