1. Do you want a lot? You won’t get much
This phrase is usually said to moderate other people’s ambitions. Moreover, the speaker does not always do this with the worst intentions. For example, parents sometimes worry that their child is dreaming of something that, in their opinion, is unattainable. And so they try to protect him from disappointment in the future. It seems that if a person reduces his appetite and desires something more real, he will definitely get it and be happy.
In fact, it’s normal to want a lot, because who else but you knows what you really need. Encountering obstacles and disappointment, abandoning previous plans is also normal, because not everything depends on us. Sometimes the course of business is influenced by a banal series of accidents that prevents the achievement of the goal.
If you want a lot, it increases the chances of getting what you want. Another thing is what we do for this purpose. Dreaming and doing nothing is a really so-so strategy; it is unlikely to bring results. But if you make a step-by-step plan for realizing what you want and move in its direction, you can achieve a lot. And most likely, even if you manage to fulfill only part of your plan, the result will still please you. Let’s say, if a person who wants to become a dollar millionaire becomes a ruble millionaire in the process, he is unlikely to be upset that he made an effort and did not stay on a salary of 15 thousand.
So: do you want a lot? you can get a lot. Depends on what you’re going to do.
2. You can’t even pull a fish out of a pond without difficulty.
On the one hand, this phrase teaches us that sometimes you have to try hard to get something worthwhile. But it can also lay down the wrong attitude: everything worthwhile is achieved at a high price. And if it was easy for us, then there is some kind of catch.
Therefore, people may devalue their achievements. For example, a person easily copes with his work. The boss praises and pays bonuses. The customer is satisfied and asks that only this employee interact with him. But our hero knows that he reached his goal without much difficulty. And at this point, impostor syndrome can develop, when it seems that success is not the result of our efforts, but simply a coincidence of circumstances. This means that soon everyone will find out the truth and will be disappointed, or even punished. Because of this, a person lives in eternal fear instead of praising himself and enjoying the results of what he has done.
Not everything valuable comes to us hard and with suffering. This does not make the received less meaningful.
Another side drawback of the proverbial approach is to overestimate what is given to us in a difficult battle. When something doesn’t work out, it seems like I’ll pull the line one more time and the fish will appear above the surface. That’s why we continue to try where it’s high time to reel in fishing rods. For example, we stay in an unhappy relationship. After all, if they don’t work, it means we haven’t worked hard enough.
It’s worth remembering that sometimes you can’t pull a fish out of a pond without difficulty, sometimes it jumps out of the water into the boat itself, and sometimes we don’t like fish at all, and it’s better to make efforts in the forest or in the supermarket.
3. You laugh a lot, you cry a lot
Another folk wisdom that is aimed at protecting us from strong negative emotions. It seems that if you don’t allow yourself to be too happy, then subsequent feelings associated with some kind of misfortune will not feel so destructive. And it’s a bad omen: the universe will certainly take revenge. And in general, you should have fun away from people – better alone and under a blanket. Otherwise they may envy and jinx it. Or write a denunciation there.
In fact, if there is a reason for joy, it is worth allowing yourself to laugh, celebrate, rejoice. It is also necessary to be sad, if there is a reason. Because all emotions are important, and it is useful to live them and not block them. If you forbid yourself to rejoice, it will do little to protect you from frustration in the future. Because life is like that, it consists of ups and downs. Revenge of the universe and other elements of magical thinking have nothing to do with it.
So, do you laugh a lot? Maybe you’ll cry a lot, maybe you won’t. This has nothing to do with the amount of joy.
4. No one is waiting for you there, no one needs you there
This phrase is said when someone is about to move, for example. And often it is also pronounced not because they wish the recipient failure. Some people believe that it is impossible to change everything for the better. Someone worries that a person will disappear from their life, and does not know how to find better words to express it.
There is a piece of truth in this phrase. No one in the new place is waiting personally for us, strangers. Outside the usual bubble, there will certainly be new challenges and obstacles that will have to be dealt with. But the world is not inherently as dangerous and hostile as it is commonly imagined. So today, in the conditional “there”, no one is waiting. But this is temporary until you make contacts and prove yourself.
In general, no one is waiting for you there, but this is normal and not forever.
5. We didn’t live well, there’s nothing to start with
It happens that families of several generations are guided by this attitude. They learn to be content with little and reassure themselves that perhaps their children will live better. But at the same time they broadcast the same installation to them. As a result, neither children nor grandchildren simply know how to live differently – now, and not in the hope that the new generation will somehow master this skill.
Therefore, if you haven’t lived well, then you should just try to start.
6. Eggs don’t teach chickens
In a hierarchical society, authority is strong, which is not necessarily earned through real achievements. For example, there is an attitude that older means smarter, which suggests that a person’s experience and wisdom depend on the year of birth. But this is not true; younger people may have relevant knowledge and skills, but older people may not. Hierarchy can also get in the way of efficient workflow. For example, if the boss’s word is law and discussing work tasks with the boss is prohibited. A subordinate may have a better understanding of some issue, and a discussion will help find the best solution to the problem. Whereas the schemes proposed by the manager can lead, at a minimum, to a waste of time.
That is, the chicken may not be taught eggs, but in human society, relevant experience and skills decide. So you don’t have to listen to authorities if your decision seems right to you. But we must also take responsibility for its consequences.
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