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Attention, care, understanding and respect for other people’s opinions – all this helps to establish a close connection and communicate normally with others. And there are bad habits that not only prevent you from doing this, but also make your interlocutor feel unnecessary and inferior. Here are just a few of them.
1. Answer in monosyllables
No conversation will be truly interesting and constructive if one of its participants answers only “yes”, “no”, “of course”, “maybe” or uses dry short phrases. Such remarks are more likely They say about detachment and the desire to quickly end the conversation.
When you are not in the mood to communicate, it is better to say so directly. For example: “Sorry, but I don’t really want to talk right now. Maybe another time? And if the reason is that you are shy and don’t know what to answer, take control of the situation into your own hands and start asking your interlocutor questions. This will help move the conversation forward.
2. Pull the blanket over yourself
When one of the interlocutors says that his day was even worse or his experience in a similar situation was much better, he turns the conversation into a competition. And it becomes impossible to build a trusting relationship with such a person.
Sharing your stories is important for meaningful communication. This way we get closer and find commonality with each other. But if the main motivation is to make an impression, to prove something or to boast about something, then the person is not looking for intimacy, but admiration. Therefore, first it is better to listen to your interlocutor and only then talk about your thoughts and experiences.
3. Spread excess positivity
Wanting to support others in difficult times, we often invite them to look at the positive aspects of the situation in which they find themselves. Optimism can certainly work wonders, and a positive attitude is a wonderful thing. But in order to get through life’s trials, a person still needs to experience difficult negative feelings. And telling someone about them is one way to do this.
When we tell a person to look only on the bright side of events, we ignore the difficult reality that he is faced with. And this can “cancel” his feelings. But if we show attention and respect to his difficult emotions, it not only helps him cope with stress, but also brings him closer together.
4. Strive to be right in everything
The moment one interlocutor decides that the other should agree with him, any communication turns into a debate. Instead of listening, he begins to look for logical inconsistencies in the “opponent’s” arguments and ways to defend his position. As a result, the conversation becomes a heated argument rather than a calm, safe space where everyone can be assured that they will be heard.
Meaningful connections between people tend to occur when they find common ground and embrace differences with empathy. In a complex world where everyone has their own unique point of view, it is important to respect the other person’s reality, even if we don’t agree with it.
5. Be a know-it-all
When a person starts ranting about a topic even though no one asked him to, it may seem as if he is making his interlocutors look like ignorant people. Even if he has the best intentions, this behavior comes across as an attempt to boost his ego rather than to build a personal connection. So, before sharing knowledge, you should ask your interlocutors how much they understand the subject and whether they even want to communicate on this topic.
6. Judging other people
This habit causes the interlocutor feels awkward, forces him to “close himself” from communication and undermines trust. Not to mention the fact that this can develop serious complexes in him.
To establish normal communication with a person, you need to accept him as he is and help him, and not scold him for a choice that from the outside looks wrong. People make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve support and love.
Fine-tuning communication 🧐