Addictions are bad habits that most would like to get rid of. Each of them begins with ordinary pleasure. A person just wants to eat delicious candy and please himself after a hard day. Take a drag on a cigarette and relax. See what news his friends have on social networks.

But for some reason, for some, these little things remain in the section of infrequent and pleasant pleasures, while others cannot do without sweets, nicotine or social networks. We tell you why addictions arise and what will help you get rid of them.

How dependencies are formed

The emergence of such habits is the reverse side of the mechanism of evolution. When a person performed an action that helped to survive, he received a reward from the brain. This supported successful attempts to get food and replenish strength, find shelter, and continue the family line.

For example, a person found attractive-looking fruits with a delicate aroma. He ate them and received a number of positive sensations. Firstly, the fruits turned out to be tasty. Secondly, they caused a pleasant feeling of fullness. And thirdly, neurotransmitters appeared in the brain, which created a feeling of satisfaction and happiness. He seemed to signal: “Remember how you looked for such attractive food, where you found it and what exactly you ate. This is the right script, you will need it later.”

Let’s imagine that the person was hungry before. Now he is full, and his mental state has changed from anxious to calm and relaxed. This means that the image of “search – tasty fruits – comfort” will be fixed in memory.

So far so good. And the next time, ancient man could find healthy and nutritious food faster and easier. But our contemporary, as a rule, has no shortage of calories. However, a mechanism associated with food and happiness may also become ingrained in his mind. Like this: “I’m anxious – if I eat something tasty, pleasant emotions will appear.” He can then repeat this scenario many times and end up with unhealthy food cravings.

Psychiatrist Jadson Brewer, in his book “The Addicted Brain,” provides a definition of this unpleasant condition.

Addiction is an addiction to something despite adverse consequences. If a substance or behavior (whether it’s nicotine, alcohol, gambling, or anything else) is negatively impacting your life, but you don’t give it up, there’s something to think about.

Jadson Brewer

From the book “The Addicted Brain”

Brewer believes that addiction formation looks like a trigger-behavior-reward chain. For example, a trigger is a memory of a traumatic event. Behavior: you need to drink to drown out the memory, so as not to relive it again. Once it helped to cope with unpleasant emotions, which means it can work again. Reward: painful thoughts recede, because alcohol really helped you relax and switch your attention to other things.

If this chain is repeated over and over again, an addiction may develop.

Why is addiction often so difficult to get rid of?

As a rule, a bad habit occurs to fill a void. A person feels a lack of something very important to him. For example, it is difficult for him to communicate with others, he cannot reduce the level of tension and feel pleasant emotions from communication. He lacks relaxing, comforting sensations. And he tries to get them with a chocolate bar, a cigarette or a couple of glasses of wine. People sometimes simply don’t know how else to fill the emotional vacuum; they don’t have the necessary skills and experience to do so.

But the effect is temporary. Therefore, a person sees the need for stimulants again and again. However, each repetition of the cycle reinforces this scenario. This means it increases addiction.

Over time, the usual dose begins to not be enough. And a person can look for stronger stimulants.

For example, one will move from chocolate to hard alcohol, which can cause a stronger release of dopamine. Another will start logging into the social network not a couple of times a day, as before, but every 10 minutes.

He constantly checks to see if the number of likes on his latest photo has increased. He looks at how many subscribers have read his new post. If their number is less than usual, it causes stress. After all, every like for an addict is confirmation that he is noticed, that he is important, that the world has not lost him.

Finally, the repeated cycle of behavior that perpetuates addiction begins to seem vital to the person. And abandoning it seems like a disaster. Because there will not be a constant dose of neurotransmitters to which he is already accustomed. But how to get them differently or how to do without this enhanced dose is unclear. It’s also not clear how to relieve stress and finally fill the emotional void with which it all began.

How to still cope with addiction

You can try to do this in several steps – on your own or with the help of a therapist.

Recognize that addiction really exists.

For some, this is a difficult step. Such people often take any talk about possible addiction with hostility. And they say that they are completely free from attachments. And drinking a couple of glasses of wine with dinner is normal. Yes, if suddenly there is no wine, a person begins to worry, his mood suddenly deteriorates. But this doesn’t mean anything – he just likes the taste of the drink, and that’s it.

In such a situation, it is difficult to cope with addiction. To get rid of a harmful addiction, you first need to honestly tell yourself that it exists. And that you don’t want to put up with him anymore. No, such recognition will not make you weak. On the contrary, it will show that you are strong enough to accept reality as it is and even try to change it.

Try to understand what void you are trying to fill

It may be easier to do this with the help of a psychologist. But if you are currently unable or for some reason do not want to communicate with a specialist, you can try to figure out the situation yourself.

Try to remember when you resort to addictive behavior. And what troubles are you trying to hide from? Maybe you feel that you lack attention and meaningful communication. That’s why you spend hours looking at photos in the accounts of friends, acquaintances or exes. This way you create the illusion of your presence in their lives.

Perhaps you are worried about unclear prospects in work or life. And you spend half a day reading the news to get a ghostly feeling: I have my finger on the pulse, I control everything that happens in the world.

Or maybe you buy a cake every evening because you really want a holiday, but you don’t see any other way to arrange it.

To understand what is happening, you can regularly write down your thoughts and conclusions in a diary. This technique helps: open a notebook, ask yourself a question and immediately start writing down everything that comes to mind. Without editing thoughts and without necessarily trying to express yourself beautifully – just write without stopping. You can use a voice recorder for the same purpose: ask yourself a question and immediately say whatever you consider necessary. Then you can re-listen to your speech and draw conclusions about what is happening to you.

But if you feel that you can’t cope on your own, contact a specialist.

Write why you need to get rid of addiction

Maybe you will have a lot of free time, and you will finally be able to do something that you have been putting off for a long time. Or you will feel stronger and more energetic and will be able to accomplish much more in a day. Finally, you will be able to spend much less money, and use the freed-up funds to buy yourself something very nice.

Find reasons that are close to you. You can also use a diary for this. Or consult a psychologist.

Prepare for temporary difficulties

Recovering from addiction can be difficult. You will probably want to give up everything more than once or twice. And thoughts will begin to appear in your head that your bad habit is not so terrible. And as if there was more benefit from it for you than harm, because improving your mood is useful, but causing inconvenience is not.

Be prepared for such thoughts. If they arise, re-read the benefits that you wrote down in the previous paragraph.

And if you suddenly break down, start trying to cope with harmful cravings again.

Jadson Brewer writes in his book that the desire to succumb to addiction often resembles a wave or an inverted letter U. It gradually increases and finally reaches a peak. It seems to the addict that if he, for example, does not immediately smoke a cigarette, he will simply explode. Often in such situations people give up and open the pack of tobacco again. But if a person cannot immediately take a puff – for example, he is sitting on an airplane at that moment – then nothing terrible happens. The desire decreases and finally disappears completely.

Brewer says this scenario applies to any addiction. And at the peak moment he suggests remembering that the critical phase does not last long and soon the craving will subside. Every time in such a situation, you can imagine an inverted U as a reminder: everything will pass, you can handle it.

Look for a replacement for a bad habit

If the urge to immediately drink, smoke, eat a package of cakes, or immerse yourself in social media all night seems irresistible, you can remember yourself before this craving occurred. Imagine what you did then that gave you pleasure. You can try to restore previous vacation scenarios.

If old habits don’t inspire you at all, try creating new ones. Imagine how you are going to spend your time when you are completely free of addiction. Look for a replacement for the pleasures you want to give up. Walk more, try to find a type of physical activity that you can do with joy. If a new activity does not arouse enthusiasm, feel free to abandon it and try something else. You need to find a way to supply yourself with dopamine and endorphins. And it certainly exists.

But if you are faced with a severe addiction that you cannot get rid of on your own, be sure to contact a professional.

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