The topic of financial incentives for children haunts many parents. Some believe that from an early age it is necessary to show that money can only be obtained through work, be it an honestly earned A+ or a cleaned floor. Others try to convey that helping around the house and getting good grades is worth it in order to feel like an active member of the family and go to a good university, and not for the sake of a “salary” from parents.
Arguments for
1. Work must be paid
Often adults explain their decision to pay a child by saying that studying or cleaning is work and there is a reward for it.
Parents, for example, can divide children’s responsibilities into three categories. The first is self-care skills, such as brushing your teeth or making your bed. They are not paid. In the second category are tasks such as dusting or washing dishes. For them, children will receive a “basic salary.” If a child helps with something beyond his main duties – for example, he loves to water the plants – he receives a bonus.
2. Money is a quick fix
If you’ve tried everything from carrot to stick to motivate your child to study or help around the house, money seems like a quick and effective way. And at first, such a measure will really bear fruit.
But if material incentives become the only driving force, then you should think about whether you have found such a good way. Does the child enjoy acquiring knowledge? Is it nice for him to help his grandmother just like that?
Be prepared that your child will get used to this system faster than you can enjoy its effectiveness, and will not want to give it up.
3. Material motivation is very clear
A clean house and a good position in the future are not things that can motivate a child. Another thing is money. They can be used to pay for gadgets, toys and entertainment here and now. A direct logical chain arises: if you get an A, you also get a banknote for your piggy bank. Did you put away the toys without a reminder? Hold another coin.
However, here too it is important to ensure that money does not become the only motivation. If a child is more worried not because of problems at school, but because of not receiving rewards, this is an alarm bell.
Arguments against
1. Family relations are replaced by market ones
Children can also bargain with you. Let’s say you promised to buy your child a new phone upon successful completion of the quarter. But they meant “all A’s,” but your son or daughter considers simpler results to be success. Try to prove that you don’t need any gadget! It’s good if you can somehow come to an agreement, otherwise, out of principle, the child may completely neglect his studies.
It’s the same with household responsibilities. For example, when asked to wipe the dishes, you may hear: “What will I get for this?” In addition, if instead of sincere praise you give your child a bill, it may look like a payoff. Don’t forget how important your love and approval, expressed in sincere kind words and hugs, and not in monetary terms, is to children.
2. Rewards are also affected by “inflation”
Like any currency, money for help and good grades tends to depreciate. Be prepared that one day a child will ask for an A grade not 100 rubles, but 200. And their appetites will grow. If you refuse to increase your “payment”, you will face a riot or sabotage. If you agree, after some time the child may ask for more again.
3. The desire to try for nothing disappears
When you start paying for help or assessments, think about the moment when you want to stop. It will be very unpleasant for a child to lose his usual source of income, and this may affect the desire to do something without remuneration.
Gain new knowledge and pleasure from a well-deserved A, feed the cat and hear an approving purr, just help your mother wash the dishes – the motivation to perform all these actions must come from within.
Methods of proper financial incentives
If you have weighed all the arguments and still decide to resort to money, use it wisely. Below are tips shared by Keio University Associate Professor Makiko Nakamuro in the book “How to make your child learn with pleasure?”
1. Consider successes in the present, not in the future.
The words that a good education will pay off over the years do not seduce children. Likewise, adults know that it would be good to start jogging regularly in the morning and in a few months become healthier and more resilient. But does this motivate everyone?
According to Makiko Nikamuro, we tend to exaggerate the significance of the profits that await us in the near future. The child will prefer to receive less, but earlier. Therefore, if you decide to reward him for doing well at school, you should do it for the successes that you see now. This will bring him joy and satisfaction, and will also motivate him to try even harder in the future.
2. Reward for specific achievements
Tell your child clearly what the reward is and for what he is due. Instead of the abstract “if you stop throwing toys around,” it is better to agree that he will receive rewards every Saturday if everything in his room remains in its place for a whole week.
Makiko Nakamuro explains that it is difficult for a child to stick to an action plan if it is not specific. To keep your room tidy throughout the week, you can come up with a checklist and check point by point whether everything is clean. For every day your child tidies up, give him a sticker. At the end of the week, count them together and give out a reward based on a certain number. The more “clean” days, the larger the prize.
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3. Use the correct units of measurement
Nakamuro in his book gives an experiment in which cubes were used as a reward. For middle and high school students, money was a more motivating factor, and for elementary school students, it was the cubes, even though they were very inexpensive.
It is important to correctly calculate in what equivalent and quantity to reward the child in accordance with his age and needs. For elementary school children, this could be toys or going to a water park together. For teenagers it’s money, because the ability to make decisions on their own is important to them.
4. Associate money with work
Some pay children to brush their teeth or clean up. But adults do not receive rewards for the same actions – they have to work for this. Therefore, children should be paid only for conditional “work”, so that money is associated with work, and not with self-service skills.
5. Explain how money can be managed and where it comes from
You can give your child money for pocket expenses, including through rewards for grades or help around the house, from primary school age. Play Monopoly or other financial games together. Tell us where you get your money and how you manage it.
More Can invite children to put money into three banks: the first is for spending, the second is for savings, and the third is for charity. It is better to teach your child from an early age not to live from paycheck to paycheck.
Regardless of whether you resort to tangible rewards for children, do not forget about intangible ones. Sincere words “Wow, how beautifully you drew!” or “You’re already so big and independent, you packed your backpack for school without any reminders!” The child will definitely remember it. Feeling approved and loved is important at any age.
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