Recently, a younger cousin called me to tell me she had exciting news. After her first semester at university, she finally found a flexible job that suited her demanding schedule. However, I quickly realized that she was involved in a Multi-Level Marketing Scheme. Although I have been contacted by people before, it is very different when a loved one joins an MLM.
How to Respond When a Loved One Joins an MLM
When he told me he had found a job, my initial reaction matched his enthusiasm. That is, until she gave me more details. She then asked me if she would be willing to listen to her sales pitch and help her practice.
While my initial instinct was a firm no, I hesitantly agreed and immediately thought about how to address the elephant in the room. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to provide support or objectivity when a loved one joins an MLM. After much thought, this is how I decided to approach the conversation.
1. Reinforce the separation between the person and the product.
I have no problem turning down offers from friends and acquaintances. However, I knew this situation would be more delicate since it involves someone I love.
While I needed to make my position clear, I didn’t want to discourage her during her job search or make her feel foolish for falling into her traps. So after her sales pitch, I told her I was proud of the initiative she was showing. I then informed him that I do not support the MLM model and that there are better opportunities out there.
2. Support your position with facts.
His reaction was exactly what I expected. He regurgitated the company’s standard responses. Since she was already deeply entrenched, I chose to focus on the facts instead of changing my mind.
I started the conversation with some general career advice: No matter what the job is, you should always research the company to know who you’re going to do business with. I then sent him articles about the class action lawsuits against the company.
However, I think the strongest evidence comes from online reviews. So, I sent her links to sites like Glassdoor and Indeed so she could read online reviews about the company and what its employees said.
3. Be firm but gentle.
Even though I heard his sales pitch, I told him I couldn’t afford his products and wouldn’t buy anything. Even when she came back with her usual rebuttals, I stood my ground.
But in an effort to remain supportive outside of this job, I offered her honest feedback about her presentation and helped her look for other job opportunities that better suited her strengths.
4. Prepare for a backlash.
Although I tried to be as gentle as possible, she still didn’t take the news well. She was clearly disappointed and has been distant since our conversation.
But there was a positive side. Although she had a negative response, she was not as bad as she expected. When I turned down other offers, people got very angry. Despite my gentle attitude, I have been personally attacked and insulted for my refusal. You must prepare for this reaction and remain calm. Escalating the situation is the quickest way to ruin relationships and drive them further into the MLM structure.
5. Enforce your boundaries.
At this point, I realize there is very little I can do to stop her from going further down this rabbit hole. Therefore, the only way I can respond is by enforcing my boundaries and repeatedly telling her that I will not purchase any of her products.
I also contacted other family members to inform them of the problem. Others have also tried to talk to her, but she stubbornly sticks to her script. I feel like the only way to learn is through failure.
Although I don’t agree with his decisions, I still plan to do everything I can to maintain other aspects of our relationship. And you can bet I’ll quickly shut down any conversation that might lead to another sales pitch. While I realize there is a chance our relationship may never recover, I still have hope.
