In a patriarchal society, if a wife listens to her husband, she is a good, faithful woman who loves her husband. But you just have to mirror the situation, and the word “henpecked” will immediately fly towards your partner. Moreover, it is often the men themselves who throw insults. Tanya Tyuvilina observed how guys humiliated each other on social networks, and shares her opinion why this problem also affects women.
It happens that children learn a new word and start pushing it everywhere. Even where it does not fit in meaning. Now on the Internet, for some men, this word has become “cuckold.” In general, this is the name of a fetish when one of the spouses observes the “betrayal” of their partner. For some, the practice, to which all participants agree, seems so humiliating that they began to call everyone undesirable “cuckolds.” It especially goes to men who show a good attitude towards women and are not shy about it.
Even before “cuckold” became a fixture in the Internet lexicon, there were other options, like “henpecked.” This story is not new: men have long humiliated other men for “excessive” attention or caring behavior towards women.
“Giving gifts is a heel”
In March 2024, a Twitter user toldthat his wife constantly borrowed his smart watch. She needed to take her pulse during sports training. As a result, the man decided to give his beloved a new gadget so that she could play sports in peace. Many people supported and praised the initiative, but there were also critics who proclaimed: “a heel.”
For some reason, a caring and attentive attitude towards women, according to such critics, is bad. He gave her something that will make her happy, which means he caved in. As if a “real man” should not take into account a woman’s desires, much less show signs of love just like that, for no reason.
Another user even wrote that after hours a woman will begin to demand more, for example an apartment. Here we return to the good old stereotype about the commercialism of girls.
Well, what insidious women! Just give them a reason in the form of a smart watch, and they will immediately take away your house, your car, and your last money for travel!
I even feel a little sorry for men who think like that. Gifts and other symbols of love frighten them so much that it is easier for them to come up with a reason not to do anything.
Sometimes the word “henpecked” is used to brand men who do simple things, like household chores. Cooking, cleaning, washing in patriarchal optics falls on women’s shoulders. Therefore, if a couple suddenly decides to share responsibilities, the guy is immediately eliminated from the legion of “normal men.” It turns out that building an equal relationship with a girl, where both help each other live easier and better, is humiliating.
“You help in a difficult situation – cuckold”
A Twitter user shared a story about how her boyfriend helped her give an enema during an illness. In replays, use immediately let’s go the word “cuckold”. It would seem: well, what does this have to do with it? Not only did the commentator not understand the terms, he also described helping a partner in a difficult situation as unworthy of a man.
I’m a little curious about how such men imagine relationships. Probably, in their fantasies, the woman is always in a good mood and never gets sick (and also always wears makeup and has smooth legs). But in real life the sun doesn’t always shine. You never know when your health will fail you. Isn’t it cool that there is a person nearby who will help you cope with a difficult period.
What do relationships look like for such commentators in old age, when people develop chronic diseases and don’t have as much physical strength as they did when they were twenty? How do these men imagine pregnancy? They don’t know about the existence of toxicosis, during which you can feel very sick? Or that women may experience incontinence after childbirth? It turns out to be an interesting family, since helping the woman you love get back on her feet is the responsibility of the “heel”, not a faithful partner.
“The wife has male friends – deer”
The theme of male-female friendship is as old as time. To be fair, it seems to me that both men and women are biased towards her. And yet, if suddenly a girl has friends of the opposite sex in a relationship, a “wonderful” expression immediately appears – “cuckold.”
Everything about this concept is great. People take it as an axiom that a man perceives a woman only as a sexual object or romantic interest. Most jokes about the friend zone are based on the “woman is friends, man secretly loves” scheme.
In such a picture of the world, a man cannot be interested in a girl as a friend with whom it is simply pleasant to talk and spend time.
He definitely wants to either sleep with her, or – wow, a villain! – make her your beloved.
A guy automatically turns into a “deer”, and a girl into a cheater if she is friends with men. And if she also spends time alone with a friend, the “horns” reach galactic proportions. Meanwhile, “why someone else if you already have me?” is an excellent basis for manipulation, so name-calling only reinforces the reason for prohibiting communication with someone.
Why insults from men affect women too
It’s better not to throw around insults at all. But the “heel” and the like only reinforce the belief that women should not be treated well. There is no need to agree with them, take care of them, show your love – all this is shameful and humiliating. Even giving a gift to a loved one is a sign of weakness. Insults make men who are willing to care for their partner feel ashamed and think that there is something wrong with them. At worst, they will adopt the pattern of behavior that patriarchy imposes on them. As a result, women will also suffer: they will be dictated to whom to communicate, and in difficult times of illness they will not come to the rescue.
I don’t really want to live in a world where a guy won’t agree with you because other guys will laugh at him. For some reason, men are called names, but women again become mercantile, unfaithful and unworthy of help.
