The ability to influence others and convince them is closely related to psychology. In order to negotiate with people and get everything you need from them, you need to understand the peculiarities of their thinking and behavior. The following 10 theories will help you master this skill and learn to defend yourself from the influence of others.
1. Copying (amplification) hypothesis
When we speak with confidence about our attitude towards something, such an attitude is copied and is fixed in the minds of our interlocutor. The rule works the other way around: when we express doubt, the other person also begins to hesitate.
How to use
If you want to convince someone to become a supporter of democracy, for example, you need to confidently agree and actively support the interlocutor when he talks about it. And when he talks about other political regimes, he demonstrates only vague agreement.
How to protect yourself
To do this, you need to behave opposite to your interlocutor: if he appeals to logic, react emotionally, and vice versa.
2. Conversion theory
According to this theory, a minority in a group Maybe exert a disproportionate influence on the majority. Often those most receptive to a different opinion are those in the majority who agreed with a certain position because it was easy or because they saw no alternative. Therefore, even if you belong to the minority, you can convince the interlocutor of your point of view by defending it consistently and confidently.
How to use
Let’s say you are on the board of shareholders of a company. At the next meeting, the majority votes in favor of merging with another company, but you do not agree with it. Following conversion theory, you first publicly ask difficult and uncomfortable questions about a decision, such as at your next meeting. And then you take turns talking to other shareholders in a private setting about whether the merger is advisable in principle. In this way, you can carefully win over more supporters and gradually change the situation in your favor.
How to protect yourself
When a minority opposes you, try to immediately expose the methods of your opponents and be the first to voice the message they convey to others.
3. Information manipulation theory
She assumesthat a persuasive person intentionally violates one of the four rules of conversation:
- Rule of quantity – information must be complete.
- Quality rule – information must be truthful.
- Relational rule – information must be relevant and relevant to the topic of discussion.
- Rule of manner – information must be clear and understandable.
How to use
If you, for example, are a student who is turning in a coursework late, then in order to pity the teacher, you can say that your dog got sick, you had to take it to the veterinarian and therefore you were delayed in work. You will sacrifice quality of information, but you may not receive a bad grade.
How to protect yourself
Question everything you are told, especially if the information you receive causes you to change your point of view. Always check details carefully and look for evidence.
4. Priming
The essence of this phenomenon is that certain incentives influence on our thoughts or actions in the near future, even if they seem to be unrelated.
For example, you can say the word “cinema” in one sentence and “theater” in another to lead your interlocutor to the idea of a cinema. Or you can watch a horror movie in the evening, and then be afraid to sleep alone, although the plot you saw was about a completely different situation.
How to use
Let’s say you provide some services. To convince people to become your customers, give them the opportunity to use your service without any conditions. They should feel the benefits of what you are offering, but not feel like you are trying to force it on them. When people try it, it encourages them to think about your service. And most likely, they will return to place an order, even if they had no idea before that they might need something like that.
How to protect yourself
When you start thinking about something during a conversation or after meeting someone, stop and figure out what exactly might have caused you to have these thoughts.
5. Norm of reciprocity
This is a well-known generally accepted rule, which is formulated very simply: a favor for a favor.
How to use
Give people something they will truly appreciate. For example, help a friend move. Then in a difficult situation you can ask him for a favor in return and he will most likely will feel obligated to help you.
How to protect yourself
Be careful when strangers offer you something, especially if they need something from you in return. You can always say “thank you” in return for someone’s favor and politely say “no” if you are asked to reciprocate a favor.
6. The principle of scarcity
We want what is not enough. And this is desire intensifies as we anticipate feelings of regret that we missed a golden opportunity because we did not act quickly enough.
How to use
Let’s say you need your partner to choose the one you like from two options. To influence his decision, tell him that this option will only be available for a limited amount of time. In addition, it would not be amiss to hint that other people are also interested in it and that demand exceeds supply.
In personal life and business, the principle of scarcity can be used in another way – by pretending to be unapproachable. To get attention, let the person know that your time is valuable and you are not wasting it on nonsense.
How to protect yourself
When you want to buy something “scarce” or spend time with someone who is rarely free, think about whether you really need it or whether you are attracted only by the elusiveness itself.
7. Sleeper effect
It lies in the fact that the influence of information on our opinion weakens over time, with the exception of information from unreliable sources. At first we ignore it and perceive it as implausible, but gradually the connection between the information and its source gets lost and we begin to believe them.
For example, a colleague told you that some bank is deceiving customers. Later you found out that it was a hoax that was launched by competitors. However, you will most likely remain wary of him and will not want to use his services.
How to use
If you are promoting a service, clearly and convincingly tell as many people as possible about its advantages, using all available means, including posts on social networks and personal meetings. Gradually, you will form a positive attitude towards your service, and everyone will forget that you were the source of information.
How to protect yourself
Regardless of whether you rely on reliable data or rumors, when making a decision, always look for the source of information and double-check it.
8. Social influence
We let’s give in influence of other people depending on how we perceive our relationships with them. For example, we trust the opinions of authoritative experts, large companies or our friends.
How to use
To convince someone to buy your product, mention that it is already used by influential people or endorsed by well-known organizations. Sometimes it’s enough to just say that your friends have the same one and are very happy with it.
How to protect yourself
Analyze your reaction to social influence and pay attention to whether you change your behavior or opinion under its influence. The more you study yourself, the less others will be able to manipulate you, intentionally or unknowingly.
9. Yale’s Approach to Changing Attitudes
He is based on years of research at Yale University on persuasive communication. The approach, which can be briefly described by the phrase “who says what to whom,” takes into account a variety of factors:
- The speaker must please the audience and inspire confidence in them.
- The message should not appear as an explicit belief.
- The arguments must be diverse, but the “wrong” one must be refuted.
- If two speakers speak after each other, it is better to speak first.
- If there is a pause between the speeches of two speakers, it is better to speak second.
- During persuasion, it is important to distract the audience.
- The greatest impact can be had on people with a low level of intelligence and moderate self-esteem, as well as on people aged 18–25 years.
How to use
Adopt the techniques of prominent public figures. They look great, and when they refute their opponents’ point of view, they first present it as reasonable, and then highlight its flaws. As a result, it looks like the nice person is simply making arguments that do not contradict common sense.
How to protect yourself
Observing speakers will help, as will knowing the basic rules of this approach. Thanks to them, you will be able to notice when they are trying to impress you and influence your opinion.
10. Absolute terms
According to this theory, only words have greater power than others, because they carry a special meaning, including cultural. Absolute terms are positive and negative. For example, when we talk about health, positive words would be “safe” and “prosperous”, and negative words would be “sick” and “old”.
How to use
Use positive absolute terms when describing something you want to show off in its best light, and negative absolutes when referring to something you want to dislike. You just need to do this very carefully, otherwise others will understand that you are trying to impose your vision on them.
How to protect yourself
When people use absolute terms too much, you should be wary: perhaps they are trying to mislead or deceive you.
Other useful theories and techniques 🧐