There are many reasons why we hold back our tears. For example, we want to confuse a bully and show that we are stronger than we seem. Or trying to look professional in a work meeting that doesn’t go according to plan. We may believe that tears make us weak in front of other people or that they are inappropriate in stressful situations.
However, when we cry in a safe, emotionally supportive environment, tears can be beneficial. Not only do they let others know that we need help, but they also contribute releasing endorphins and relieving stress so we feel better.
Why are we crying
Experts have not yet fully figured out why we shed tears due to strong emotions or physical pain. It is believed that this is a social signal, the purpose of which is to gain comfort and support from other people.
However, studying crying from an evolutionary point of view is quite difficult, because we are the only creatures on the planet that cry. Other animals whine or make certain sounds, and people perform a whole set of coordinated actions. Tears appear in our eyes, we make sobs and other sounds, our facial muscles contract, our facial expressions change, we slouch and shudder. This whole complex process is called crying.
At the same time we we produce three types of tears:
- Basal, which are constantly released and ensure overall eye health.
- Reflex, which are formed when it is necessary to wash harmful foreign objects out of the eyes.
- Emotional, which are caused by strong feelings and pain.
What benefits do tears bring?
The main scientific theory about the value of tears is that they evoke empathy and compassion in others and thereby contribute to the development of social contacts. For both children and adults, crying is a way to signal for help and increase the likelihood that people who see and hear it will provide it.
In addition, scientists believe that crying is also beneficial from a physiological point of view. Some research showthat crying can be a form of self-soothing. Tears can help relieve pain by releasing endorphins and oxytocin. According to one small researchconducted in 2020 in South Korea, crying therapy improved emotional and physiological processes in women who had breast cancer.
Thus, tears can be called a kind of therapeutic agent that helps us relieve tension, throw out pent-up emotions and gain peace of mind. Emotional tears flush stress hormones and other toxins from our body, moisturize our eyes, and lower blood pressure and pulse. When we cry and others empathize with us and care about us, we feel safe and less alone.
How to help yourself cry
If you’ve spent a lot of time learning to hold back your tears in the past, you’ll have to practice to relax and allow yourself to cry. For those who are conditioned to believe that expressing emotions is unsafe or that they must be expressed in a certain way, tears can seem elusive. There are several ways to remove the barrier. Try:
- make a playlist of sad songs that always touch your heartstrings;
- search YouTube or TikTok for touching and sentimental videos that will make you cry;
- listen to a sad podcast;
- watch a guaranteed heartbreaking film;
- keep a journal about moments of personal grief and sadness;
- do yoga to release your emotions.
There is no clear, scientifically proven schedule for how often you should cry. But if you feel that you need to do this to make things better, find a secluded place, turn on a movie at the end of which you will definitely burst into tears, and allow yourself to cry freely.
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