Even very confident people sometimes have problems with flirting. There is little pleasure in taking a risk, openly expressing your interest and immediately getting rejected, especially from a person we like. But there is a safer and more discreet way to show your interest – micro-flirting.
What is microflirting
Essentially, this is regular flirting, just not so obvious. It includes very careful and delicate signs of attention, based more on subtext and subtle non-verbal cues than on frankness and unambiguous hints. This is, for example, a slight smile, eye contact, proximity in space, a compliment about a new suit, praise for a job done, or participation in a general conversation.
Because micro-flirting is virtually invisible, it reduces the risk of receiving outright rejection and feeling rejected. In the end, you can always say that there was no flirting.
What are the pros and cons of microflirting?
From the very beginning, micro-flirting helps to respect someone else’s personal space and not violate boundaries, which allows you to avoid awkward situations and maintain a pleasant atmosphere for communication. It also provides an opportunity to create an environment where you are confident that the other person knows that they are treated well, are interested in them, and care about them.
Microflirting is safe and most often appropriate because it allows you to express sympathy in a discreet manner, rather than in an overtly obvious and intrusive manner. And even if romantic feelings are not mutual, there is still room for friendship or just a pleasant acquaintance.
Another advantage is that subtle micro-flirting techniques, such as eye contact or simply being close to someone, can be used by those who have difficulty communicating and interacting with others. For example, introverts, shy and anxious people who are afraid to hear a refusal or do not want to worry later about the fact that they behaved somehow wrong.
In addition, micro-flirting is useful for those who have very little experience in relationships, since it allows you to gradually become more confident in communicating with others and, perhaps, even move on to more open flirting and active actions.
Finally, micro-flirting adds a little fun to life and promotes a feeling of lightness and playfulness. It strengthens social bonds and can be the start of deeper relationships.
The downside of micro-flirting is that its manifestations can be so subtle that the other person simply will not notice them and will not know that they are interested in them.
How to use microflirting
From a technical point of view, microflirting differs little from regular flirting, but since it is more delicate, it is almost impossible to make a mistake with it. Here are some of the simplest techniques:
- Eye contact. To maintain it, you need to look straight into the other person’s eyes and not look away when he looks at you.
- Compliments. It is better if they are not deliberate, but simple or even playful.
- Talking about feelings. Talking about how you feel and asking how the other person feels can help you bond and begin to understand each other better.
- Touch. It’s important to consider how close you are, and if appropriate, you can, for example, lightly touch the shoulder or arm of the person you like.
- Attention. In addition to eye contact and touch, it also means that you are listening intently to the other person and letting him know that you remember the information he told you before.
However, because all these techniques in the case of micro-flirting are more subtle than in the case of regular flirting, it is easy to mistake it for something else, for example, showing friendly concern, decent behavior in the workplace, or even simple politeness. And if there is no reaction to it, one might think that there is no mutual interest. But even if you make micro-flirting a little more explicit so that the other person clearly understands that you like him, you can still face refusal.
To overcome all the difficulties and misunderstandings associated with micro-flirting, you need to respond adequately to feedback. For example, end a conversation when a person makes it clear that he does not want to talk anymore, or stop looking at him when he looks away.
If you are not sure that a person likes you or that manifestations of micro-flirting on your part do not bother him, but at the same time you are not ready to talk directly, you can step back a little and see if micro-flirting signals come from him. If not, your feelings are probably not reciprocated.
As in any other life situation, in the case of micro-flirting, you must respect personal boundaries and refuse any manifestations of it if it is perceived negatively. However, you should not take rejection personally. Rather, it is an opportunity to change your approach or shift your attention to other aspects of communication.
Circumstances also matter a lot. For example, direct flirting at work can quickly turn into harassment. Therefore, you must always ensure that your behavior is consistent with the environment and does not cause discomfort to other people.
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