What are joint rituals
Shared rituals – This planned, recurring symbolic events in the lives of people who love each other, regular reminders of the relationship between them. They are created together and express love and care. The term “rituals” is usually used in English-language literature; for Russian speakers, the word “traditions” is more familiar. This can be either an almost automatic hug when meeting, or the custom of going to barbecues with the whole family on the May holidays.
Rituals form mutual responsibility for relationships, feeling belonging, trust and sympathy, increase satisfaction with the relationship, and also allow a deeper understanding of its meaning and the development of a “culture of two”. Such actions are also useful when relationships have moved to the family level. After all, a family is a group of people, and the stronger the group’s rituals, the stronger she is on her own.
Most of these traditions are repeated regularly and Maybe contain elements of routine. However, due to the fact that these events go beyond everyday interaction, people tend to attach symbolic meaning to them.
Why Shared Rituals are Important
Researchers claimthat joint rituals allow partners to see each other in a new light and evaluate how suitable they are for each other. Traditions adopted in couples increase the number of “family” interactions, improve understanding of the essence of relationships and the ability to resolve conflicts.
How write Researchers have found that from their first dates, people in couples perform certain rituals: they go to meetings, give each other gifts, and try to learn more about each other. Based on this, they decide whether this relationship has a future or not. During the premarital period, joint traditions also help strengthen affection and a sense of mutual responsibility, overcome uncertainty and alleviate anxiety.
Of course, general rituals not the only one factor determining future family life. They must be combined with love experiences and character compatibility.
At the same time, the benefits of the rituals that appeared in a couple remain even after people decide to tie their lives in marriage. So, in families that have their own traditions, relationships stronger and more durable. It can be anniversaries, birthdays and other holidays, regular dinners together or going to the cinema on the weekends. Rituals allow spouses understand each other better and communicate more with each other. How consider According to researchers from Harvard Business School, taking even small, collaborative actions can significantly help overcome stress from losses and failures.
An important fact is that family traditions important in raising children. They help develop a sense of responsibility in the child by involving him in common affairs. And joint holidays give him a feeling of security and stability. In addition, rituals have a positive effect on health. Thus, children in families that have their own traditions more often go to bed on time, sleep better, tolerate respiratory diseases more easily, and are generally healthier in preschool age.
Author, psychotherapist and professor at Eastern California University Brian Robinson believesthat rituals are extremely important during a pandemic, as they help establish new relationships and strengthen existing ones.
What rituals are especially beneficial for relationships?
Premarital traditions are generally similar to family ones, but researchers from the United States named and a couple of specific ones. Thus, people in love often make plans and dream about the future together, and also get to know each other’s relatives.
Among the rituals that are useful both for couples who have not yet married and for family relationships, the authors of the study recommend the following:
- Pleasant activities together: dates and romantic dinners, watching movies and TV shows, hobbies and even shopping.
- Expressions of intimacy: declarations of love, compliments, dancing, massage, kissing, sex, and so on.
- Communication and showing interest in each other: calls and correspondence throughout the day.
- Habits and established rules: distribution of household responsibilities, normal daily routine.
- Shared household chores: walking the dog, doing laundry, and so on.
- Jokes that only the couple themselves can understand.
- Taking advantage of opportunities to spend time alone with each other.
- Visiting “selected” places (favorite cafes, restaurants, beaches, resorts), preparing “signature” dishes.
- Joint holidays and weekends.
- Present.
- Mutual assistance and support: for example, when one of the partners is faced with a very heavy academic or workload.
Specific examples of rituals that have a beneficial effect on relationships: offers and Brian Robinson:
- Regularly have dinner together at the same time, putting gadgets away.
- Develop together spiritually and intellectually. For example, meditate, attend online educational events, or read.
- Find a vacation spot that will bring back fond memories of your time together. Return there regularly.
- Create holiday traditions that you both enjoy. For example, celebrate the New Year at home in warm company (or even just the two of you).
British psychologist and one of the creators of the method of emotionally focused therapy Sue Johnson complements This list contains the following recommendations:
- Hugging regularly and mindfully; hold hands; kiss when you wake up and go to bed, leave the house and return. Touching and hugging, especially from people we care about, is good for our health.
- Write notes and letters to each other. This is especially important when you are temporarily separated or repairing a relationship after a fight.
- Have a heart-to-heart talk about everything you want or need to discuss. You can set aside a special time for this.
- Find special moments just for the two of you. For example, you can have breakfast in bed on weekends, making sure that no one disturbs you.
- Have date nights regularly. At least once a month.
- Praise each other for even the smallest achievements.
- Don’t be shy to say how much you love each other and how happy you are to be together, including publicly.
Of course, the secret to a strong and long-lasting relationship is not limited to joint rituals. Nevertheless, they can make your union stronger and your feelings warmer. Therefore, do not neglect the opportunity to spend more time together, do not rush to throw away family traditions and love each other.
What else are the benefits of rituals? 🧐
*Activities of Meta Platforms Inc. and its social networks Facebook and Instagram are prohibited in the Russian Federation.
