What is known about the causes and consequences of talkativeness?
Psychology has little to say about the causes of the phenomenon, which is referred to as “non-target verbosity.” Although he studied from a neurocognitive point of view and found out, for example, that due to some violations of the so-called function of the frontal lobes of the brain, a person loses control over himself and is simply unable to resist chattering, not realizing his such behavior.
However, even if we knew what exactly was going on in the brain of an overly talkative interlocutor, it would not help us in practice to stop the incessant flow of his speech. Therefore, researchers from Maastricht University in the Netherlands didn’t delve into the reasons for increased talkativeness, and directly considered ways to cope with it.
The aim of the study was to explore the difficulties healthcare professionals face when trying to obtain information from overly talkative patients. Because they talk too much, doctors cannot pinpoint the problem and are therefore constantly looking for ways to obtain the necessary data. Moreover, even the name of such a verbose patient in the appointment schedule can make them feel despondent, because they know that it will be difficult to work with him and this can lead to incorrect diagnosis and make it difficult to select individual treatment.
You most likely do not need to make any diagnoses for other people, but it is quite possible to become depressed at the mere thought of an upcoming meeting with someone excessively talkative. The results of the work of Dutch researchers will help find a way out of this difficult situation.
General practitioners with five years’ experience provided them with descriptions of consultations with patients who met criteria for talkativeness. That is, they talked excessively, were unable to structure their speech and focus, deviated from the topic, repeated themselves, gave a lot of irrelevant information, and had difficulty controlling the direction of the conversation. After reviewing the notes, the study authors conducted focus groups with 25 different doctors, who shared their views on what underlying issues might be causing patients to be verbose.
How to Deal with Chatty People
As a result, researchers from Maastricht University identified six main strategies. Three of them are based on ideas about the possible causes of talkativeness, another three focus on “minimizing negative consequences.” All of them are initially aimed at achieving mutual understanding between the doctor and the patient, but nothing prevents them from being used in everyday life.
Based on your understanding of the causes of talkativeness, you can do the following:
- Provide emotional support to a person whose talkativeness may be due to loneliness.
- Build a conversation structure that will help the interlocutor with insufficiently developed communication skills to reduce his speech to the most important thing.
- Create a comfortable and safe atmosphere if a person talks too much because he is worried.
Actions to minimize the damage caused by talkativeness may include:
- Refrain from being straightforward, that is, do not ask the person to immediately shut up, but first understand whether it is possible to somehow limit his verbosity.
- Try to persuade your interlocutor to let other participants join the conversation.
- Show empathy if you need to interrupt a person or want to insert a joke.
The most valuable idea here is empathic interruption, but this must be done in stages. If you allow the other person to ramble on and on until you decide you’ve had enough, you run the risk of reaching a boiling point and saying something rude that you may later regret. Moreover, if this happens in the presence of other people, your remarks may be considered dismissive and unjustifiably critical, and you may be considered an insensitive person. Sometimes nice people talk too much because they are worried or lonely, and this is their first chance to socialize with others in a long time.
Another conclusion of the Dutch experts is that you can be a talkative person who takes over the entire conversation and not even notice it. Remember the last time you yourself chattered incessantly. Maybe when you were very nervous in the doctor’s office or felt out of place at a public event. Think about how others might interrupt you without offending you, and you will not only get to know yourself a little better, but you will also advance in the process of empathic interruption.
Once you learn to control the endless monologues of chatterboxes from a position of empathy and responsiveness, you, on the one hand, will save yourself from boredom and despondency, and on the other hand, you will soften the emotional factors that lead your interlocutor to such behavior.
Secrets of unobtrusive communication 🧐
