You can listen to a short version of the article. If it’s more convenient for you, turn on the podcast.
We always know we feel anxious, right? It would be nice, but, unfortunately, the situation does not always work out this way. Many people who suffer from anxiety do not understand what exactly they are experiencing. They realize that they feel bad, but cannot describe their feelings.
US study showedthat 60–80% of complaints during visits to the doctor are related to stress. At the same time, at the reception, people do not say: “For the last five years, my marriage has been falling apart at the seams, and I constantly have a headache and stomach pain. Can you help me deal with relationships and stress?” They come with another request: “Prescribe me something for chronic headaches and stomach problems.”
Natural anxiety appears when we lose control of a situation. For example, when we are driving a car on an icy road and the car starts to skid. However, anxiety can also occur in the absence of physical danger. Let’s say when we imagine how we will give an important report at a large conference. In addition, with high internal anxiety, some people manage to maintain external calm and even productivity.
You can understand that your problems are related to anxiety based on several signs.
1. You can’t name your emotions
If you don’t listen to your feelings throughout the day, don’t understand the reasons for your reactions, often can’t explain what you feel, and rarely take an interest in the state of mind of others, you may have alexithymia. This is the inability to differentiate and express in words not only one’s own, but also other people’s feelings and emotions.
2. You have chronic health problems
If you think back to when you first started having neck pain or the first symptoms of chronic fatigue, you will most likely remember that it was a difficult period that involved stress and life changes. Perhaps your child started first grade, you got a new job, or ended a long romantic relationship. During transitional moments, we lose control and begin to feel anxiety, which gradually results in chronic diseases.
3. You don’t share your experiences with others
People who freely talk to others about their lives also talk about their emotions. Those who interact with others primarily through activities such as work, sports, or arguing about politics communicate superficially. If you also find it difficult to discuss your feelings, perhaps it is anxiety that is holding you back.
4. You choose unhealthy ways to deal with stress.
You may tell yourself that everything is fine, but at the same time you start drinking a lot more alcohol, return to smoking, spend your evenings in front of the TV, or lash out at loved ones. All these are attempts to drown out stress.
How to change it 💡
5. You don’t know your needs
When a person’s basic needs for communication, professional competence, and autonomy are not met, they tend to experience negative emotions. If you don’t understand what you need, you probably don’t understand how you feel when your needs go unanswered.
6. You are experiencing unexplained physical pain.
If you are constantly facing challenges in life, your needs are not being met, and you are unable to express emotions, then you are likely to develop chronic pain. The stress we experience at work, the lack of happiness at home and the pressure that life puts on us turn into emotions. They are the ones who help us understand when something is going wrong and we need attention. If doctors say there is nothing wrong with your health, then physical pain is an alternative way your body is trying to communicate its worries.
What will help you cope with anxiety? 🧐
