What is emophilia
This is the tendency to fall in love easily, quickly and often. Previously, it was also called emotional promiscuity. A person with emophilia can develop an unwavering and all-encompassing passion for an object of romantic interest in a very short period of time. Moreover, this is not a fleeting feeling, but a strong desire with hyperfixation on love.
You can test yourself for emophilia using a few questions:
- Do you fall in love quickly?
- Have you ever, when you saw a person for the first time, thought that he could become your soulmate?
- Have you ever thought about being in love with someone you’ve only known for a few days?
- How often do you get caught up in feelings and give your all to relationships that end up going nowhere?
Yes answers to most of these questions probably indicate emophilia.
What is the danger of emophilia?
People with high levels of emophilia do not feel the need for the relationship itself, but rather for the excitement and excitement that falling in love brings, activating the reward and reinforcement system. This leads to impulsive and hasty actions and makes such people vulnerable to toxic relationships.
One small study showedthat people with emophilia are more likely to be attracted to partners with the dark triad traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.
The fast-growing attachment characteristic of emophilia often forces a person to ignore warning signs. And when he begins to notice them, it may be too late to end the relationship, especially if a deep connection has already been formed with his partner.
All of this creates a situation in which a person with emophilia may feel like they are attracting the wrong people into their life. Although in fact the opposite is true, since emophilia makes him more prone to cheating, falling in love with several partners at once and engaging in unsafe sexual practices.
The rush of falling in love is a very exciting and exciting experience. However, actively trying to find this feeling can lead to unhealthy attachment habits and detrimental emotional consequences.
How to get rid of emophilia
Create a checklist of green and red flags
People with emophilia create a cycle of fleeting romances and emotional turmoil while struggling to create a stable, long-term union. A pre-compiled list of criteria that are important in a relationship and a lack of haste in matters related to serious obligations will help you regain control over your emotions.
First of all, you need to analyze your values, desires and unacceptable conditions. You can then create a list of “green” flags. It includes the traits that one would like to see in a partner, and the circumstances in which compromise is acceptable. For example, in a partner I would like to see charisma, a sense of humor, nobility and intelligence – these are desires, but in a relationship there should be trust, respect, devotion and independence – these are values that are not negotiable.
After listing the “green” flags, you should think about the “red” list, which will include everything that is unacceptable in a relationship under any circumstances, no matter how wonderful the partner is. For example, immaturity, impatience, insults, excessive jealousy.
It is important to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect person or relationship, and building a strong, healthy connection takes effort, time, and patience.
There are other signs 📌
Do not ignore warnings from loved ones
Love and emophilia make you focus on one single person, forgetting about everyone else, including yourself. However, listening to the opinions of others is a smart decision. While a person is driven by feelings and emotions, his friends and family may notice warning signs in relationships that he misses. Ignoring comments from loved ones can lead to bitter regrets in the future.
Of course, not all advice is worth listening to. But they can offer a new perspective on the situation and help evaluate it objectively. By testing other people’s assumptions based on facts, we stop relying solely on our own emotions. This makes it possible to make more informed decisions and ensure that we are moving in the right direction.
Take a pragmatic approach
Under the influence of emophilia, a person plunges into a whirlpool of strong feelings, which in a short time cloud his mind. Therefore, it is useful to take a pragmatic approach to romantic relationships to ensure that they are not divorced from reality.
You can start writing down all your encounters and experiences, paying attention to how feelings change over time. This will allow you to understand how sincere your emotions are or how well you can avoid the pitfalls of old habits. At the same time, it is important not to idealize your partner and look at the relationship realistically. By taking a step back and assessing whether feelings are consistent or not, you’ll have a better chance of distinguishing between a real connection and a fling.
When we identify certain patterns in our relationships, we get a better understanding of how we make decisions and what else we need to work on. This empowers us to make informed choices that align with our values and long-term goals and helps us build healthy relationships.
More about love and falling in love 💖
