What are the benefits of negative emotions – Burning Hut

When anxiety prevents you from concentrating on everyday activities, and rage prompts you to say hurtful words to your loved ones and then regret it – this is unpleasant. It seems that it would be cool not to experience negative emotions at all and always feel calm and happy. Psychologist Larisa Tarantsova explains why this is not only impossible, but also harmful.

What emotions do we call “negative”?

Many people are familiar with the feeling of sadness that we experience when something doesn’t work out for us, or the anger that makes us conflict with loved ones. Or when the fear of speaking in front of an audience freezes your voice and all words are forgotten. I doubt that anyone is delighted by these feelings. Most likely, for any person they carry a “negative” charge.

Emotions that cause us dissatisfaction and discomfort are usually considered negative. These emotions include anger, rage, disgust, sadness, shame, anger, guilt, shame and so on. There are a lot of them, and there is no universal list of negative emotions, because dividing emotions into positive and negative is unreasonable. This can create the misconception that there are “bad” and “good” emotions. In reality, everything that a person experiences is needed for something. Each emotion has its own tasks.

Why do negative emotions appear?

From a physiological point of view, any emotions arise as a result of a complex interaction between the brain, nervous system and physiological processes of the body. Through various emotional reactions, the body helps a person adapt to constantly changing conditions, as it happened evolutionarily.

Every day we interact with other people and objects in the environment, and some events happen around us. The way we perceive everything that happens around us affects the nature of the emotions that arise in us.

Negative emotions are a signal that something is going wrong. It will be supplied until the danger is eliminated. At this moment, the limbic “fight-flight-freeze” system is activated, which determines a person’s behavior in a stressful situation. The adrenal glands increase the release of adrenaline, norepinephrine and cortisol into the blood, and the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the expression of emotions and mobilizes the body’s resources in a state of stress, begins to work actively. Now the body is ready to fight for survival.

That is, so-called negative emotions arise when a person finds himself in conditions that require the mobilization of forces to find ways to survive and adapt.

Why are negative emotions needed?

Many are sure that negative emotions are harmful, because they cause mainly negative feelings: they lead to despondency, upset, demoralize, negatively affect relationships with other people and even physical well-being. It seems like it would be wonderful to never feel fear, anger, sadness, guilt, anger again. However, in this case, there is a risk of losing the adequacy of the perception of the surrounding reality and looking at everything through rose-colored glasses.

Negative emotions color our experience; without them, the perception of the world would be monotonous. Emotions tell us what is happening to us or to other people.

• Fear and anxiety mean that our body is in danger and that we need to do something to ensure our safety. We are usually afraid of well-known things, such as dogs or heights. And we worry about unknown reasons.
• Anger signals that our personal boundaries (physical or emotional) have been violated and that action needs to be taken to protect them. We usually either ignore or mirror the behavior of others. Or we show aggression if we have been accumulating anger for a very long time.

• Sadness and sadness they say that our brain is currently processing information about some unrealistic expectations and that our personality is developing, we do not live in illusions.

• Disgust and hostility – this is a signal of danger or satiety. This feeling is very often lost by people suffering from eating disorders, low self-esteem and low self-esteem.

• Resentment – also a danger signal. This is a reaction to causing pain, not just physical, but emotional.

• Envy is a marker of the limitations of our capabilities. We envy what we cannot afford for various reasons.

• Hatred — speaks of the need for distance for the sake of one’s own safety. When we experience this negative feeling, it means that we do not want to interact with someone or something because the emotional state suffers from such interaction.

How negative emotions help us

They don’t allow you to get into unpleasant situations.

Let’s imagine for a moment that we have stopped being afraid of everything, fears and anxieties no longer exist. But we are surrounded by a world full of dangers: wild animals, natural phenomena, transport, electricity. How long can we live among all this without the ability to identify danger? Most likely, if historically our ancestors had not developed a sense of fear, people would have died out before they had time to reproduce.

Help us understand what we really want

Negative emotions highlight our needs and motivate us to act accordingly. For example, when we are angry, we want to scream, break something, or hit someone. What is behind the anger? Perhaps you have taken on a lot of responsibilities and need rest or sleep. Or you’re hungry, that’s why you’re angry. If we understand the cause of anger, then we choose a completely different way of responding to this emotion.

Allows you to understand other people

We communicate not only through speech. The main part in the process of information exchange between people is body language and emotions. It is important to learn to understand your emotions, and this, in turn, will help you respond adequately to the emotions of other people.

They make us a holistic person, help us grow and develop.

When we allow ourselves to express negative emotions, we are who we truly are. Of course, we must be able to control our emotions, but not be afraid to express them, not suppress or refuse them. Thanks to negative emotions, we become more experienced, learn to distinguish between good and evil, and select the best ways to behave in society.

When Negative Emotions Start to Get In the Way

Often we want to get rid of negative emotions because we are not ready to tolerate the state into which they plunge us.

• When a child’s temperature rises, the mother worries, does not sleep, sits by her child’s bed, and cannot think about anything else. Although it would be more useful to get enough sleep to save your energy for caring for the child.

• When on the day of the exam a student is worried and worried about the result, and this prevents him from showing his best side.

• When we are passionate about something and are urgently asked to do something, we are forced to be distracted and irritated, although it would be more effective to quickly help or refuse the service.

• When a friend shared the news that she had bought vacation packages at the seaside, but we couldn’t afford it yet, we were jealous, and not always in a positive way. Although it would be better to make an effort to organize a vacation for yourself.

• When we, trying to support a friend through grief, say something like “don’t worry,” “life goes on,” because we are not ready to share his emotions.

At these moments, we do not want to understand that negative emotions somehow help us. They bother us. They interfere with thinking rationally and sensibly, drawing logical conclusions, in a word, they interfere with living. Our limbic system begins to select the appropriate behavior in the current situation, which is not always reasonable and safe, primarily for ourselves.

How to effectively deal with negative emotions

No matter how useful negative emotions are in moderation, our nervous system still suffers from them. Sometimes we begin to realize that we cannot control them. When we are in a bad mood, we lash out at our family, our children, and our colleagues. And not only they suffer from this, but also ourselves.

Tip 1: Be aware of your emotion

Name out loud the emotion that captured you: “I’m angry right now!” – this is how we take out our emotion, verbalize it, which in itself can reduce the degree of experience. You can tell yourself this in front of the mirror.

Accept that it is normal to feel the way you are now: angry, irritated, wanting to be quiet and alone. Announce to everyone that you need half an hour of time for yourself. Come up with a place where you can restore strength, calm down and switch to another “wave”. Breathing techniques can be used here. Inhale and exhale the air deeply and slowly, imagining how you are exhaling all your anger, irritation or other emotion with it.

Wheel of Emotions

Tip 2: Take a break

Helping you cope with a bad mood is your favorite job or any activity or hobby – a process that really brings you pleasure. You can start a spring cleaning if you like to tidy up. You can draw, read a book or go shopping. If this activity supports you and makes you feel more calm, go ahead, let the whole world wait!

Tip 3. Play sports

Physical exercise will help you cope with negative emotions, because emotions always affect the bodily level. Running, aerobics, even simple push-ups can reduce the intensity of emotions. You can, of course, box the pillow, but there are fears that any aggression, even directed at the pillow, can only inflame anger: at some point the pillow will stop helping, and the person may switch to another object.

Tip 4. Write your feelings on paper

You can also write a letter. For this technique, you need to find a place where you will not be disturbed for a certain time. Describe everything that has accumulated, what makes you angry, irritates, express all your complaints about the offenders or circumstances. It is important not to type on your phone or computer, but to write by hand. For this technique to work, you need to describe your condition as accurately as possible, down to the smallest detail. You need to write until there is nothing left to write. Be prepared to cry or feel empty for several hours after practice, as the purpose of the technique is to experience strong emotions. The written letter does not need to be shown to anyone. The best option is to tear it or burn it.

Tip 5. Analyze the situation

To gain control over your emotions, it is important to change your thinking. Any trigger situation can indicate an underlying problem, those needs that are not met.

The cause of negative emotions is not in other people, but in ourselves. We were not offended or angry, but we were offended and angry. And if this is so, you can change your attitude towards the situation itself. Understand for yourself that everything that happens is a useful experience, behind the black stripe there will definitely be a white one, this time it didn’t work out, but that’s how it is for now. The purpose of this method is to reduce the importance and tragedy of the situation, to direct thoughts in a more constructive direction.