How to recognize a know-it-all colleague
Most of us have had to deal with such colleagues. They consider themselves the smartest, attract all the attention at general meetings and confidently speak about what is right, even if they are clearly mistaken, they lack information or are not aware of all the nuances of the situation.
Here are a few more signs of know-it-all colleagues:
- They establish a monopoly on any conversation and do not allow themselves to be interrupted, although they themselves do not hesitate to interrupt others.
- They don’t listen to feedback and criticism.
- They speak in a condescending tone.
- They explain what others already understand.
- They rarely ask questions or show curiosity.
- They take credit for the team’s success or fail to recognize the contributions of others.
One reason why know-it-alls are common in work environments is that managers reward people who act as if they have all the answers. If a company views uncertainty as a weakness, if decision-making is competitive rather than collaborative, then know-it-all becomes a cunning survival tactic.
How to deal with such a colleague
If you want to make your working relationship with a know-it-all less annoying and disruptive, start by answering a few questions:
- Is he trying to prove something? There is a high probability that your colleague’s selfishness compensates for some of his shortcomings or fears. For example, some know-it-alls may constantly talk about their past accomplishments to demonstrate their own worth. If you notice this and mention more often what this person contributes to the common good, he will no longer need to constantly brag about his past achievements.
- Is his self-confidence justified? Perhaps he has good reasons for his presumptuous statements and his claims are not unfounded, even if his behavior leaves much to be desired. Maybe his point of view is correct, and he is simply presenting it in a harsh manner?
- Are you biased towards him? Many of us are wary of people in positions of power. And when one of them does not fit into our ideas about a leader, we also think about how justified the trust placed in him is. Perhaps the coworker you perceive as a know-it-all is one of the people you are subconsciously prejudiced against.
- Does his behavior unsettle you? The more confidently someone defends their opinion, the more we can resist them, especially if it threatens our values. Maybe your reaction to your know-it-all colleague’s behavior has more to do with you than with him. For example, you may feel like a failure when you compare your achievements to his, or you might wish you had the same unshakable confidence that he has. Think about whether his behavior is actually causing serious problems for you and the team or is it just annoying. And try to find the difference between what you don’t like and what prevents you from working.
How to communicate with a know-it-all colleague
1. Appreciate everything it has to offer.
You may have to dig deep to find them, but behind the overconfidence there may be some genuine knowledge and valuable abilities hidden. Of course, know-it-alls like to exaggerate their achievements, but try to find a grain of truth in the words of a colleague. If his only purpose for bragging is to gain approval or recognition, your empathy and gratitude will help him change his behavior.
2. Don’t let yourself be interrupted
Many know-it-alls have a terrible habit of constantly interrupting others. One way to deal with this is to warn about how much you will talk and ask them to refrain from any remarks during this time. For example: “Please do not comment or ask questions until I finish.”
If you are not giving a presentation, but just leading a discussion, you can say something like this: “When I am interrupted, I lose concentration, so please let me finish.”
3. Talk openly about what’s bothering you.
If a colleague still interrupts you, contact him directly. But just don’t raise your voice. Most likely, the know-it-all will start talking even louder, trying to shout you down. Instead, say confidently: “I’ll finish my thought, and then I’ll be happy to listen to your opinion.”
If you don’t feel comfortable talking openly about an issue yourself, find allies. It is often easier for someone else to resist rudeness. For example: “I would like to listen to Katya” or “I don’t think Maxim fully expressed his point of view.” If a know-it-all is interrupting many of your colleagues, you can reach an agreement and stick up for each other when this happens.
4. Set standards
Discuss and formulate clear rules with your colleagues that will help to distribute roles more fairly during joint discussions and that everyone must adhere to. For example, don’t interrupt each other or listen to everyone’s ideas before making a final decision. This will set a certain framework for behavior for the know-it-all colleague.
5. Ask for data and sources of information
Another annoying habit of know-it-alls is to spout facts that come from nowhere: “Our customers expect us to add new features every six months,” “Sales are falling because we don’t respond quickly enough to complaints,” “In a year, no one will care about this.” speak”. If you’re wondering how a colleague knows all this, don’t be afraid to ask him for specific information that will back up his claims.
At the same time, show respect. For example: “I’m not sure we’re starting from the same facts and assumptions. Let’s check everything again.” Even if your colleague doesn’t like it at first, in the future he will begin to wait for your clarifying questions and will think twice before presenting something as the absolute truth. In addition, asking him to explain how he knows all this can help him realize the limits of his knowledge and change his behavior.
When going to a meeting with a know-it-all colleague, arm yourself with verified facts. The better prepared you are, the easier it will be for you to defend your point of view and refute unsubstantiated statements.
6. Model humility and open-mindedness.
Many know-it-alls behave this way because it has always worked in the past, or because the team, company, or culture they belong to somehow encourages displaying self-confidence. You can offer a different model of behavior by being humble and open-minded.
For example, freely express your uncertainty: “I don’t know” or “I need to double-check this information.” When the know-it-all sees that this does not lead to any unpleasant consequences, he may begin to manifest himself in the same way.
To change the know-it-all behavior in meetings to a more humble one, you can encourage colleagues to come to meetings having thought through the pros and cons of the decisions or ideas they want to propose. Or use another technique and ask him questions like: “What is the opposing point of view?”, “What if we look at the question from the other side?”, “What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?”
Some know-it-alls crave recognition, so sometimes it’s enough to acknowledge their ideas and thank them for sharing their thoughts, and then ask questions or express your opinion. For example: “Thank you, this is a very useful comment. I agree with the first part of what you said, but I see the second a little differently. Let’s discuss this.”
Working with a know-it-all colleague is annoying at best and career-limiting at worst. But you don’t have to sit back and suffer in silence. You can take steps to curb his bravado or at least reduce the negative impact his behavior has on you and other employees.
How to improve working communication 🧐